… all internet “marketers” ( people selling things via the internet ) put your hand on a firm book and repeat after me.

I am an internet marketer.
But that doesn’t make me bad.
I hereby promise to conduct myself in the most tactful manner…

This means that I will not send you a copy pasted DM with a link to my page, event or group… without even saying hello first –
I am smart enough to know that doesn’t work
And when I do it, it sends you a notification that you don’t want!
Plus it is sorta like sex without the foreplay…
Everyone feels a little disappointed afterward…

I also certainly promise never to introduce you to “new opportunities” that I conveniently make a profit from you being gullible enough to believe in.
No beauty wrap, diet shake, patterned legging or scented candle is worth the sacrifice of our friendship.
And if you wanted to get involved in one of these companies…
I know you’d come to me…
After all, the first rule of MLM Club ALWAYS talks about MLM club…

Additionally, you have my guarantee that I won’t be dumb enough to buy a $2000 dollar coaching program on how to create a coaching program and sell it for $2000 and the coaching program is just another coaching program to teach creating a coaching program…
I WON’T DO THIS!

I swear to remove obnoxious cult words like “tribe” “hustle” “manifest” and “attract” from my vocabulary…
What sane person talks that way?

Yes, it is true. I am an internet marketer.
It is my job to get your attention!
Create content that makes your stop and look at me.
It is my job to be obnoxiously friendly… cuz, yeah – I want you as a customer because, um I seriously am not capable of going back to working a 9 to 5 job.
Yes, it is sort of weird that my friend’s list on social media is full of people I’ve never met.

Yes, I have to occasionally be whacky on the internet and that might make you cringe.

BUT – I promise ( with my hand on whatever large book was close enough ) that if I am going to be an internet marketer…
I am going to be the good type!
Not the bad kind – that makes people question if I am an automated bot…

Even if this means limiting myself to one Tony Robbins quote a day…
And resisting the urge to lie about how many “K” I made last week while posing next to a rented Lamborghini.

… I am an internet marketer.
I sell things on the internet.
but I am also a human being –
Therefore I shall behave like one.

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